Is this normal or is my family playing mind games ...been so used to it that i dont know the difference ?

I think it is mind games. Your mom is using you to spy on your sister so that she doesn't have to. Honestly, unless she is REALLY in danger of hurting herself or someone else, your mom has no business knowing what is going on with your sister. If she wants to know what your sister is up to, it is her job as a parent to find out...not yours. If your mother starts harassing you about what your sister is up to, I would say leave and make it clear to your mom that you won't visit or talk to her on the phone until she stops trying to pry into your sister's life through you. However, if you take this approach it can go one of two ways. Your mother can either stop talking to you all together or she will get a wake up call and realize that she can't talk to you about your sister. You need to find new things to talk about. My mom and sister use me to go between each other all the time and it really sucks and it's soemthing that shouldn't be done. I finally told my mom AND my sister. Don't talk to me about the other one because I won't listen and I'll just get up and walk away. I'm not talking to you or I won't respond to you if you talk to me about my mom/sister...finally they got the hint and i'm not in the middle anymore. You should try it. You risk not talking to your mom anymore but it's not fair to you to be in the middle and I'm sure that eventually your sister will stop telling you things because she knows that your mom will get it out of you eventually.