Do you have any advice to help me stop feeling overwhelmed?

I think I've lost control (maybe I never had it to lose).My husband needs help and can't seem to come to terms he may be suffering with depression. Tried marriage counseling to get him in the door (though we desperately needed it anyway), but stopped when doc asked him to come in alone and start anti-depressants. He's not paying his bills on time, not maintaining the house, yells constantly at our two teens for stupid stuff but won't be a better example, won't take responsibility for his own behavior, ex...walks in the house with muddy shoes and argues it wasn't him, blames kids, or he won't put things away after himself and so several times a day I hear "I forgot", or "I'll get it (rarely happens). My kids are taking this example, leave dirty dishes out, garbage on living room floor along with socks, towels, wires from God know where, marbles etc...When I bring it up not only does my husband start yelling at me, my kids now yell at me that I b*** to much. I let them know that I will NOT lower my standards of living and they ALL need to step it up and want better for themselves. How do I stop saying stuff to them about it if they won't stop making a mess that they expect me to clean. Our house was always clean when I worked part-time from home, I was around more to give them direction, something my husband won't do when I'm not around, that's why its gotten so bad. We have no balance anymore. I can't do it all myself. We live paycheck to paycheck and I've been a stay at home mom for so long that I can't get a decent paying job and working has done damage to my family dynamic. I'm overwhelmed and my standard of living is diminishing because of the above stated circumstances. I can't stand looking at my own house anymore, its messy. I can't afford anything for teens who need a lot, barely affording gas and food. I just can't get ahead in any aspect of my life. There are so many things I could add that are falling apart. I feel like I'm giving up and can't seem to give 100% to anything anymore. I've lost my motivation and determination. I don't want to settle for this, but my mind is in a fog.